2/12/08 Jake Green’s Journal Ep. 2.1
Since I’ve got a lot of Sheriff-ing to do prior to the President’s whistle stop in Jericho, I will keep this brief (though my ghost writer/diarist is NOT known for brevity – she’s very special, though, and truly has my heart. But I digress….):
Lots of ‘re’ words thrown around lately, which, in our case, is not a positive thing. Reconstruction. Power and communication restored. No revenge killings, period. To start again, you have to begin removing elements from the equation. Reconciliation? There will be no reconciliation till Constantino is dead.
See what I mean? The vast majority of the time, that means going backward, starting anew…..essentially, fixing something that you’ve screwed up the first time around, a situation that you’ve somehow turned into a cesspool. In this instance, was it our government, our domestic and/or international relationships, our naïveté? Or maybe just a commentary on my life up till this point?
As I said in the voice-over introduction to this season’s Episode 1, even in the worst of times, we find the best in ourselves and in others. And I think that’s what I’m trying to do, whether I want to consciously admit to that or not. I have accepted this questionable, most tenuous job of Sheriff because I feel an obligation to be “THE guy.” As Major Beck, the newest rival to my hotness, put to me in no uncertain terms, “I want THE guy who under(stood) his place in the order of things. Those people followed you on the battlefield; they respect you.” In my heart, I don’t believe that myself, but hey….I’ll take it for now. I will assume this mantle of greatness thrust ever-so-unceremoniously upon me.
Certainly, I question the Major’s intent, but if I’m honest with myself, he’s capitalizing on my guilt. As he reminded me, “I’m good at what I do.” He has honed in on my weakness and placed upon me the onus of saving my brother’s life and the lives of other people he says are going to need that kind of help. My life since I returned to Jericho has been one long trip to overcome the guilt and ‘make right’ the things in my universe. Post-nuke, post-New Bern, post-my father’s death, I’m filled with remorse for a lot of things I’ve done, and I’m overwhelmed with rage and mind-numbing pain that I’ve got to rein in and put to good use.
I may be impetuous, but I’m not stupid. As Sheriff, maybe I can watch out for those people I care about, while also keeping an eye on Beck and this new government FOR the people, but NOT necessarily by the people. That, plus other things that certainly got my attention: Hawkins’ accusing me of wanting to act in a way that was both dangerous and stupid (he’s one guy I’d rather have on MY side); Emily’s statement that my dad would have wanted his death to end a war rather than start a new one; and, Beck’s reminder that he has the means to make all this stick. Right now, HE is the bad-ass, and he’s got the military might to back it up. I don’t….for now.
But knowledge is power, and that’s what I intend to acquire. So, basically, for the time being….this is me. Sheriff Jake. Packing heat, taking names. And maybe, just maybe, wondering who was on that train.
- Posted By Welcome2Cho
